1. |
Worry, Worry
02:43
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I feel this worry coming back, and I don’t want it to. I just don’t know how to react when I look at you, and when there’s little else to see except somewhere else to be. This hopelessness I put to rest, I just can’t keep it there. Bad behavior will protest as if I’m unaware; and as if there’s little more to me than that gap between me and what I’ve always wanted to be.
I feel this worry coming back, this familiar relapse, and everything I thought was through.
But I guess I underestimated you.
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2. |
Homeless
02:51
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Homeless with a place to stay. No I don’t want to be this way, but I can’t help if nobody else will. Not broke as fuck, just pennies short. I don’t not want to be me anymore but I can’t help if nobody else will. ‘cause nobody else knows what I know about this girl. No one else sees what I see when she looks at me. I just can’t stand to be at home; not used to not being alone. I’m never quite sure of what I want; running out of things to run from. But I can’t help if nobody else will. ‘cause nobody else knows what I know about this girl. No one else sees what I see when she looks at me.
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3. |
5 AM
02:17
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“Remember coming home at five in the morning?” the thought I’m ignoring so I won’t share with you as I sit here alone. Is it you I’ve been needing? I’ve been six-day-a-week-ing and can’t believe it’s true. All I can say is “I’m not underground anymore,” and “you won’t know it’s me 'cause I won’t hang around like I always did before.” The only table for a phone in a room too cold for blankets. Oh god I hope I make it through this endless night with these things that I don’t need. Is that you I hear breathing? Why’s this bed here? I’m not sleeping; dreams aren’t polite. All I can say is “I’m not underground anymore,” and “you won’t know it’s me 'cause I won’t hang around like I always did before.” And you won’t know it’s me ‘cause I don’t anymore.
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4. |
Long Long Time
02:40
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I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time. These windows had leaks, telephones had lines. Now who are we? Are we strong or weak? These days it seems nobody needs anyone (but me). I haven’t lived this life in a long, long time: guitars with missing strings and always kissing twice. Now what should I do with my mind if in these modern times nobody needs anyone but me. I need anyone. Will you be my anyone-but-me? I haven’t faced the facts in a long, long time. I was used to giving up without even trying. Now who are you? Tell me what to do. Everyday proves nobody needs anyone but me. I need anyone. Will you be my anyone-but-me?
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5. |
Saw You Standing There
02:48
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I washed up on the shore. I didn’t know what I was getting into, I just knew I wanted more than what I already had been through. And I saw you standing there, so I grabbed hold of the earth, not quite sure where it would drag me to or what it would be worth. I just felt so sure that I had to meet you when I saw you standing there.
But the thing is; I get nervous when I’m watched. I’m an imperfect ticking clock. I’m some faulty robot and I don’t know if it’ll stop.
“Some wreck you have been through. Let me just pick you up, build an island for two, and see what we can become.”
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6. |
A Hold of You
03:07
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I’ve been trying to get a hold of you but no matter how I try, this telephone line, it won’t let me through. And I don’t know what to do. Well I’m sorry if this isn’t the same script you’ve been given but I know my part so don’t slow my start. I’m resigned to keep my eye on you but they’re faulty by design so you’re on my mind but always out of view whether or not I am with you. Well I’m sorry if this isn’t the same script you’ve been given but I know my part so don’t slow my start.
I wanted to hop a plane or wash right down the drain.
I wanted to disappear but it seems everyone but us knows I’m right here.
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7. |
The Game
03:06
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So is this the game you play? How you get by from day to day? The honesty and feelings, the cheap perfume and cute things everyone else had thrown away? So is this just how you win; making enemies of friends? Well I’m not impressed by sorrow. Pulled by the chest to follow and I just cannot see an end. I know it hurts to hear but I don’t think you understand my dreams and my demands. So is this just how you work? How evil voices know they’re heard? Or is this just what I deserve?
I know it hurts to hear but I don’t think you understand my dreams and my demands.
And I’m sorry babe, but I don’t think I am the man to do this dance, to hold your hand.
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8. |
Quitting Kaitlyn
02:06
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Kaitlyn, what a nightmare you have been. You are my worst ex-best-girlfriend, and I’m almost alone except these two handfuls of vice. Not even trying to be nice. This pattern’s getting old.
But I know it’s all on me. Kaitlyn, my best friend said to me, “Luc, your worst fear isn’t being without a girl to call when you’re old and at the end.” I said, “Well then, what is it?”
“That it will be your fault.”
But I know it’s all on me, so I’m quitting on this daydream. I won’t be missing none of these deleted scenes, and I’m not counting nothing but time wasted. I’m quitting you, Katilyn.
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9. |
The Spilt Milk
03:07
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Crying over spilt milk and twitter. This shit makes me shiver. I can’t believe that I still have a name. I gave up on leaving; I tried to be brief but the only thing different is I’m not the same. So I’m trying to get real good at living, but these habits aren’t sticking. I can’t escape who I once used to be, so I sit in this room and I tell you I’m doomed. The only thing different is who’s listening. I wanted to give up; I wanted to get stuck. I think we’ve had enough. I just want to get stuck, but no one’s listening, so I’m crying over spilt milk and you, popsicle sticks and glue. This card house, what’s it about? I’m running out of things to do. So where have you been? and For what reason? I don’t want to know the truth; I just want to give up. I just want to get stuck, but no one’s listening. Waiting on you to call my bluff, I just want to get stuck.
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10. |
Finish This in First
02:57
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I never thought I’d be this way, with an open door, a hand out to say that there can be a better way where you can leave and I can stay. I can stay, and you can go, ‘cause I’ll say yes, you’ll just say no. Who ever thought I’d change my path, take shit from you trade it right back? Who ever thought I’d change, at that? A captain and another half. One half was not enough at all. I wrote these songs, you ignored calls. I felt this way, it was the worst. Oh, who ever thought I’d finish this in first?
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lucas britton Los Angeles, California
music for sharing and/or dancing
email me:
lucasilso@yahoo.com
lucas britton recommends:
when i grow up
by tuesday, 1996
the honest work of a good pal i knew once
go to album
songs for suburban teenagers vol. 2
by Pens, Pencils, and Writing Utensils
outstanding and inspiring music for running away from your enemies
go to album
Forget About It
by Horse Movies
the reason my discography jumps from 2015 to 2018 and also probably the coolest thing i'll ever think i did
go to albumIf you like lucas britton, you may also like:
Sugar World (members of Naps) make fizzy twee pop with acerbic charm and wry hooks.
go to album
No More Summer Songs
by Phantom Handshakes
Heavenly dream pop from New York, Phantom Handshakes surround tender melodies with cloud-like keys & guitar.
go to album
Outsider/Unusual
by Alicia Clara
Breezy, sunny, strummy indie pop from Montreal's Alicia Clara provides an escape from the winter doldrums.
go to album
