1. |
Stress Leave
02:59
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Four days in, leaning into the bend, sleeping late.
I want to dream your dream, see you in a magazine on your way.
When I get home I’m throwing out my phone.
You won’t get a chance at me.
All my life I took it as such a surprise whenever you came back.
Don’t want to be your friend, some kind of time that you spend, a place to collapse.
When you get real I don’t even see the appeal.
You won’t get a chance at me.
I’m not just anyone for you to leave behind; stationed anywhere you go to lose the time, abandon what you know, and hope to feel alive.
You’re not the type, really, to own what’s on your mind.
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2. |
Growing Pains
02:00
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It isn’t so much that I couldn’t hear you whispering the truth through gritted teeth, the corner of your eyes all red and wet now, that misbehaving muscle in your cheek.
But I swear that if this room gets any louder the walls will never hold it all inside.
There’s only so much patience I can give you, only so many places we can hide.
A claim to fight and die for.
Slammed door type of survival.
Misplacing all your time on me.
On my way home I swear the streetlight was a full moon.
It still feels weird you think you said the real thing too soon.
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3. |
Unprotected Left
02:33
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On impact, the fracture.
The gravity immediate.
Maybe a tooth lost to the asphalt, a sudden bruising to the skin.
The hair matted in patches.
Wounded, wet, and in a heap.
All the time the rising hum inside and inability to breathe.
I’m not going to see it coming.
Blood in my mouth, I taste the feeling.
The rush is warm, the pain revealing.
Don’t try to say you didn’t see me.
And don’t call an ambulance.
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4. |
Editor
02:56
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So is it every little thing?
My choice of words as injury, is that just how it’s going to be?
Like some bad habit in your arm raising an impotent alarm to watch the whole scene fall apart.
If you aren’t telling me direct how can I focus rainstorm wet?
Blind in the light, out of my depth.
What kind of timeline are you on?
How far away are we from calm?
Has this been practice all along?
Have we been placed somewhere beside a tense moment at which to arrive and the quiet way that you decline if it’s not helping you connect?
Dreaming your dream until nothing’s left.
Impatient waiting for the next.
A mistake on your mind is no reason to leave.
I don’t need an adversary.
I’m going home again.
I’m staying on your side.
I don’t care where you’ve been.
You can believe in me.
Feel like a ghost instead.
If you feel it’s necessary.
I’m going home again.
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5. |
Notes Taped to the Door
02:06
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The first few weeks that you were gone I took our old walk alone, but I get tired without your company.
For now I’ll just stay at home.
Ever since you haven’t been around the neighbors won’t let me live it down.
Say that they still hear you from across the hall when you’re not even here to make a sound.
I’m not having any of it.
I can’t help but hide my face and still, your picture on the wall.
In my reflection, see the way it all went wrong.
I can’t imagine how much better you have been and won’t be convinced that I’ll ever see you again.
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6. |
Drying Out
02:28
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So, you don’t want to talk about it.
The quiet corner of a room-too-crowded.
I guess I just don’t get your plan, the way you choose to understand, the approach and attitude around it when you can’t even notice I’m here.
In the reflection of your eyes, a new year.
You can’t help but be pulled away despite your best attempt to stay.
I can’t wait on you to appear carelessly late and sad-faced drunk, lying in the doorway trying to some version of ‘sorry’ or ‘it ain’t what-’
It ain't what?
It’s not like I’m asking you to say what’s on your mind, I’ve no time.
I don’t need you to understand what it is you did with mine.
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7. |
Interpretation Song
02:34
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Maybe it just sounds like that, you should try to let it go.
The problem that you’re trying to solve is impossible to know.
Maybe it just sounds that bad and you’re taking it hard.
Feel like an imposter in your way right from the start.
And it’s so far to get to what you want from where you are.
To separate yourself and stay apart.
Maybe it just sounds like that.
If it’s what you need, put yourself away to get relief.
A quiet way to tell yourself to breathe.
The pain is unfair, the taste is something sweet.
The work will never feel complete.
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lucas britton Los Angeles, California
music for sharing and/or dancing
email me:
lucasilso@yahoo.com
lucas britton recommends:
when i grow up
by tuesday, 1996
the honest work of a good pal i knew once
go to album
songs for suburban teenagers vol. 2
by Pens, Pencils, and Writing Utensils
outstanding and inspiring music for running away from your enemies
go to album
Forget About It
by Horse Movies
the reason my discography jumps from 2015 to 2018 and also probably the coolest thing i'll ever think i did
go to albumIf you like Drive a Car, you may also like:
A delicate bedroom pop EP (no pun intended) that captures the woozy anxieties of an insomniac period.
go to album
Australian multi-instrumentalist Nick Griffith tempers luxuriant yacht-pop arrangements with lo-fi touches across the sunny "7am."
go to album
Z Tapes offers a second pressing of fuvk’s previously sold-out “golden girl” cassette. Beautiful bedroom folk with quiet, moving melodies.
go to album
