1. |
Way Out
02:39
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There’s an unfamiliar room here when I open my eyes to an unforgiving, bright, blinding sunrise and the unrelenting hum of the city outside an unopened door I don’t recognize. And I don’t see myself getting out or knowing how. I don’t know if what you want is what you’ll get, anyway. I’m not sure you’ll find a way out, uncertain you will get away. When everything you ask of me begins to feel this way the anxious that I feel is real to me. I shouldn’t have to say.
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2. |
Attention to Detail
01:54
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…and every next word that you said felt like some darker kind of red, and all my silence grey and blue, so, not exactly how I’d planned. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you can see me like you do. But in my own way, I am trying to. And in the late morning or afternoon, between the side streets and your room, I’m looking everywhere I can just like you. I don’t want to wonder how. There’s no comfort now in hiding it. Closing my eyes again. There’s no denying this.
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3. |
Homecoming
02:42
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I know you’re back, I can tell your footsteps by the price tag. 5pms and convenient friends - this must be home. And no one really wants to be alone, or means it. You end up so defeated. “So, in your estimation, running backward can undo the stress? Sounds like bad information.” Talk in circles, yeah, you do it best. You do it all the time. I can’t believe you if you won’t relay the thought. I can’t determine for you when you’ve seen enough to write me off. I can’t pretend you’re being patient when you’re obviously not. I’m not afraid of any silence you deserve and I’m not hosting if you’re only here for hurtful words. I know you’re back, I can tell your entrance by the time lapse.
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4. |
Lost or Losing
02:48
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Ride a dizzy bike in flooded street back from your house. Try so hard to be the thing you think about when you’re alone or lonely. Open my eyes so wide that I can’t speak. I’m back in your town, afraid to leave and seem so hard to keep around, or like some mistake that you make. And I know that look - a familiar disguise when you’d rather be anywhere else and I can’t change your mind. A familiar fear to be anywhere but here, to be lost or losing all this.
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5. |
Drying Out 2
01:34
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I still feel guilty sometimes, or my-fault instincts in a way, or angry in the morning, tired, trying to tell if I’m awake. I still feel only, like always. I listen and nothing falls into place. I walk away from things I don’t understand and I don’t find it hard to say.
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6. |
Worst Case Scenario
02:24
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So you go get a new announcement and don’t know what to do without it. And I don’t like feel like leaving here and I don’t want to talk to anyone. So you go get a new apartment, leave me all alone and heartless, tired all the time and wonder why I can’t just change the way I am. And I’ll go get a newer mindset, a discount on the whole damn concept. These people freak me out. The nightmares come and I can’t get away. What if one day you hate me? What if I can’t escape the fear? What if I lose it? What if I can’t get out of here? I don’t know how to make you stay when what you want is so far away. I don’t how to make you stay. What you are is hard to say.
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7. |
Signal Police
02:30
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I still can’t seem to get it off my mind. I’ve done it now maybe a dozen times. The day-to-day can’t shake the feeling, the way you catch my eye revealing everything. I’m never going to buy a van again. I wouldn’t speak it to my closest friend. There’s something in the way you disappear that I can’t imagine quitting it for fear of everything. I make the most of weathering the storm. I keep my head down and my neighbors warned. I want to blow the whole scene sideways. You tried to tell me you just can’t decide on anything. But I’m afraid that if I lose the scent, I’ll never get quite what I want again. Still worried about taking things too far though. I’m not asking you to leave tomorrow, anyway. I haven’t got to say what I want to say. Whatever you’re holding back is what I’m holding out for, signal police.
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8. |
Lavender
02:41
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Lavender hangs in the air, a choking gasp at loss for time, can’t wrap my head around my mind. And I don’t see an exit anywhere, a way of making my way through. Waiting patiently is no use. And I don’t have the energy for putting myself to sleep. It just feels like there must be more time if I open my eyes to see, seek out what’s good for me, change in the way that I need. I might like to save to my life but that’s not your right to say, “give it a break.” Wake up in the morning angry without warning.
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lucas britton Los Angeles, California
music for sharing and/or dancing
email me:
lucasilso@yahoo.com
lucas britton recommends:
when i grow up
by tuesday, 1996
the honest work of a good pal i knew once
go to album
songs for suburban teenagers vol. 2
by Pens, Pencils, and Writing Utensils
outstanding and inspiring music for running away from your enemies
go to album
Forget About It
by Horse Movies
the reason my discography jumps from 2015 to 2018 and also probably the coolest thing i'll ever think i did
go to albumIf you like material utilities, you may also like:
Sugar World (members of Naps) make fizzy twee pop with acerbic charm and wry hooks.
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This debut from the Paris-based American artist showcases his genre-fluid sound.
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This Melbourne group craft irresistible bedroom pop with bouncy synths and soft vocals that sweeten serious subject matter.
go to album
