1. |
Gonna Be Found
03:31
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will you tell me to fuck off when i need somebody to?
[caffeine and crime shows in some dim hotel room]
it's a promise to be honest;
you know what i mean.
let's make this short, i've got to sort out a few things.
everybody's coming over.
put your head on my shoulder.
everybody's coming home now.
everybody's gonna be found.
if you catch me earnest will you show me that it's clear?
[tall tales and tail lights, the last time you were here]
i don't mean to be a burden.
i think you ought to know.
let's make this short, i've really got to go.
everybody's coming over.
put your head on my shoulder.
everybody's coming home now.
everybody's gonna be found.
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2. |
Best Supporting Actor
02:39
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it's your story; no secret.
who's enjoying your weekend?
who's enjoying your weekend?
is my answer always one of these 'what am i thinking?'
is there any bed you'd rather be falling asleep in?
it's your story; no secret.
who's enjoying your weekend?
i haven't seen you since we said goodbye.
what are you doing?
if i'm only losing track of time, what are you losing?
you seem a bit distracted.
this is my first reaction.
it's your story; no secret.
who's enjoying your weekend?
whichever fucking number that you'd like, well
you can count to.
and every other boy you'd rather be, well
he's about to. and
i'm not afraid to say it-
if this is the deal, don't take
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3. |
The Moon
02:54
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look, i don't have to tell you anything,
but they're tearing your statues down,
all the things you think and everything they make me think about.
i see you posing at the promenade,
notice you framing some whole room.
all that you say is,
'the future seems to be coming too soon.' and
i'm only lonely 'cause i cannot stop thinking about the moon.
you believe you're right,
but you just can't be sure.
look, honest, you don't owe me anything.
your guns are empty and it shows.
what's that look in your eye?
what is it that you want me to know?
what's that look in your eye, that anger in your elbow?
what's the sound of feeling alive, the feeling of coming home?
this future is coming slow.
you believe you're right,
but you just can't be sure.
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4. |
The Hardest Part
03:06
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i don't want to know how you feel.
i'm nervous that i'll be discouraged if it's revealed,
because you aren't real.
so, there's nothing, really, you can say.
i don't think you're that persuasive.
i don't think i can be swayed.
i can't come out to play.
we're playing strange and acting up.
you notice every new neurosis and think i have enough.
and you keep acting tough.
the hardest part is sorting through the garbage.
knowing what to discard is the hardest part.
i don't want to see what you see,
for the fear that i might panic every time you look at me, or
that i may disagree.
there's something heavy in the way.
there's something bright, alive, and
lying in the path of our parade.
but i don't know the name, so
i'm calling out and talking shit.
paper the walls with all my organs and wait to see what sticks
or if it's safe to read your lips.
the hardest part is sorting through the garbage.
knowing what to discard is the hardest part.
how far apart these shots in the dark seem keeps me guarding my garbage heart.
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5. |
Something New
02:01
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my brother tells me to keep dancing.
'it's not all stories like they say.'
so, lately i've been trying really hard to look at things that way.
i don't know if you've noticed.
i'm not sure that you care.
i've been trying hard to see through your disguise, but
you're hiding everywhere.
my father tells me that i should cry, and feel all the passion in my life.
so, lately i've been listening again 'cause i know he's always right.
i don't know if you've noticed. and
i don't care that you do.
i've been trying hard to see through your disguise, so
i'm seeing something new.
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6. |
All The New Kids
02:56
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it isn't an amazing place.
all the new kids wear the same face, and
nobody's hundred dollar bills will buy them any thrills.
so, you left home with a bitter taste.
but that isn't an amazing act.
all the new kids have their bags packed. and
all your self help rhetoric couldn't get one of them to quit.
so, you kept going and didn't look back.
in all the time since i had found you nothing else had shaken me.
still, everytime that i'm around you, i feel like wasting everything.
we're playing an amazing game,
all the new kids and all my shame, and
it's every other word out of my mouth,
'so, you left here. what's that about?'
so, you left here.
what's that about?
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7. |
Won't Take It Back
02:46
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well if you're asking me for real, i think we have to be honest.
i think it has to be constant so it don't get forgotten.
and if we're digging here for fun, i think you'd better be patient.
i think it's like a vacation, except i just keep you waiting.
i know you won't take it back; it's not some holy artifact.
if you're asking me to speak, i think you need to believe it.
have your doubts, within reason, but know what this disease does.
i'm not calling you names, now, just trying to stay observant.
i'm just trying to serve my purpose, learn how to be a person.
i know you won't take it back; it's not some holy artifact.
it's not some holy artifact.
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8. |
Resolution Song
03:58
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i am not afraid; i'm giving it up.
people try too hard.
people lose focus, but i have lost my fear.
it's only me in here.
i am not afraid; i am the summer sun, burning more everyday.
you won't see me when i'm done.
in time, the sky will clear, and i'll have disappeared.
i am not this ghost hiding in the machine.
i am no excuse.
i am no reasoning.
i am not the things i say, the things i give nor take away.
i am overjoyed; am not beside myself.
some people try so hard.
some people need some help.
my results remain.
i am not afraid.
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9. |
Don't Call 911
02:44
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don't call 911 when i fall down all these steps.
don't send me away in no god damn ambulance.
if you hear the sound of breaking bones at this address,
leave me to clean.
it's my own mess.
keep your head above every rough elbow that you pass, and
don't go believing in the past.
when i'm listening it's vacancies and breaking glass.
don't make me a reason not to make it back.
don't make me a reason not to make it back.
while you're striking matches just to see that there's no more answers up my sleeves,
i'm barely stirring up a breeze.
don't you tell anyone when i finally make my best.
use your own damn common sense.
and don't go worrying.
give your eye-on-me a rest.
i woke up like you today and i haven't seen me since.
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10. |
Status Report
02:37
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feeling mostly less erratic since i up and quit the habit
feeling mostly more awake
more alert with every day
i still don't often think of home, or
wonder what new things have grown from those first chapters of my life.
i'm sleeping better every night.
this job's been giving me the hope.
these girls been showing me the ropes. and
i handle my emotions well if i do say so myself.
i wonder when you're coming back
i wonder if you're bring my relapse
i can feel your fingers in my chest, i swear
i'm doing my best
not sure i've swallowed myself whole
so many things that i don't know but i'm working hard to understand
impatience, patience and demand.
my head is clear, my hands okay.
i feel so much closer today.
and, in a whisper, i admit
'i'm not too sure of anything.'
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11. |
California Voice
04:15
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no more speaking in my sleep
no more thinking with my drink
if you keep me up at night, make it an easy goodbye.
keep it slow, soft spoken, and somewhat resigned;
and i'll keep you on my mind.
don't go reading between the lines.
don't make your steps a mess with mine.
i'm only trying to remain in motion and, yet, stay the same.
keep things open, honest, and quietly arranged.
i'm only playing the game.
now, i'm not the only one with a california voice. and
i'm not another one of your damn small town boys.
if you see me, say hello.
if you need me, don't let me go.
i've been pretending to be you.
you've been keeping up with the news.
i'm not panicked, now, at all.
i'm not keeping up the wall.
if you're going home, well, get there.
then give me a call.
i'm staying patient to a fault and
i'm not the only one with a california voice.
i'm not another one of your damn small town boys.
if i see you i will say hello.
if i need you i will not let you go.
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12. |
Temporary Beds
03:09
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maybe i'm falling off the map.
your latitude slips through my grasp.
or, if you think i'm weak, maybe it's less than that.
i'm working not to do a thing or worry,
low and whispering, in the corner of your eye or
stuck to some ceiling.
you're somebody's patch of blue sky.
i'm neighbors knocking, asking 'why?'
the proper way to let your hair down and kill the lights.
do you remember the way we surrendered?
maybe a lifetime's not enough.
you take the time; you can't make it up.
i just want to feel real.
i interrupt.
it isn't what's behind your eyes, i understand but don't realize.
these days seem like a dream or someone's surprise.
i am my actions, not my days.
we dance in peculiar ways in temporary beds, or
from separate states.
do you remember the way we surrendered?
maybe i'm falling off the map.
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lucas britton Los Angeles, California
music for sharing and/or dancing
email me:
lucasilso@yahoo.com
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