1. |
hypothetically
02:44
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Given another chance I’d find myself in the same place, and probably making the same face. Given another try I might end up much less revealing, but just be doing the same thing with what I have. If there’s a better way to empathy I find it hard to see, but I believe it. Like actual love or electricity, you trust it’s there because you need it. Lately I’ve been feeling paranoid, even if you don’t see it. Taxing the energy I have. Remain afraid to reveal it.
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2. |
asset management
02:35
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I don’t want to argue with you anymore. Waste all this time for nothing, not what I’ve been looking for. I can’t keep counting on you. It’s hard enough to speak what I need to. You can’t keep counting on me. We can both be right and not have to change a damn thing. Instructions that I have to follow, needs that I can’t seem to meet. The assumption that I’ll leave tomorrow and ruin everything. And I don’t want to but I can’t help it anyway or think of anything to get myself out of the way, does that mean anything? This doesn’t feel the same.
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3. |
speechless
02:24
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And I don’t ever want to talk or analyze the things you say to me, analog or digitally. This tired habit has got to stop. Taking too long to say what you believe, or understand you honestly. There’s no quiet way to find relief. Coming to terms with the best I have for you after all that you’ve been through. Maybe I’m not the one to hold you when you’re scared. I’m just someone who’s there and cares. Can I just believe in me? It’s not that I want you to feel this way. I just don’t know what to say.
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4. |
impulse control
02:11
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Right now you look like the reason I feel like all the time’s just passed me by. Can’t keep my fever dreams out of my eyes. Right now you look at me as though we made this. No chance to take it in, so satisfied, we just lean into the movement, stay alive. If I can’t believe myself only seeing it is real.
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5. |
clarity
02:34
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You said there’s a way to make it work but I don’t like to. That’s not fair to anyone, and I don’t want to fight you. You said, “anyway this makes me weak.” And I’m too tired to hide. I hold my arms out in the wind, let them fall to my side. No more space between us now and how you thought it’d be, no sound and no song left to sing. Like I can’t be anyone at all I misplace myself. I don’t make that call. Like I can’t see anything just right in all this mess it just blows my mind.
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6. |
injury report
02:47
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I feel it now that I see the blood spill a deeper pattern from a shallow cut. Such tender skin. You had your doubt. A wound open, speaking out. I don’t want to be the type to worry you. A silent alarm in a look from across the room.
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7. |
sleep on it
03:06
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I don’t get ahead of myself nearly as often as I used to. Looking out from inside. A way to keep it in mind until the next time I see you. You don’t have to answer for it or try to excuse your behavior. If it’s not too much to ask (no room left to relax) we can talk about it later. Drink a glass of water and get your shit together.
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8. |
requirements
02:20
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Searching for reasons to see red, taking a dive in the deep end, the way that you feel not as secret as you think it is. Spending a week in the desert. Stare at myself ‘til my head hurts. The way that you said what you meant first - guess you’re dead sure, then. Now I’m not hiding mine from anyone or holding a light to the kind that you’ve become. It isn’t enough for anyone else. It isn’t enough. I’ll deal with myself.
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9. |
papercut
01:59
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Well, I guess it’s real enough. After all the time you’ve saved, still find you’re out of luck and you can’t count on anything to come back. I’ll haunt you in your sleep. Your glare, like a papercut. For a while I wondered why but I gave it up.
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lucas britton Los Angeles, California
music for sharing and/or dancing
email me:
lucasilso@yahoo.com
lucas britton recommends:
when i grow up
by tuesday, 1996
the honest work of a good pal i knew once
go to album
songs for suburban teenagers vol. 2
by Pens, Pencils, and Writing Utensils
outstanding and inspiring music for running away from your enemies
go to album
Forget About It
by Horse Movies
the reason my discography jumps from 2015 to 2018 and also probably the coolest thing i'll ever think i did
go to albumIf you like Outfit, you may also like:
Split Screen EP
by Walk Home Drunk, Comité balnéaire
This split EP from two France-based musicians is a gem, both artists recalling the glory days of slowcore in their heart-tugging melodies.
go to album
Z Tapes offers a second pressing of fuvk’s previously sold-out “golden girl” cassette. Beautiful bedroom folk with quiet, moving melodies.
go to album
Smoky and drifting synthpop songs populate “Window Seat,” with dreamy melodies floating in a sea of keys.
go to album
